Sexuality
by EmpressGalaxia
Summary: Star Fighter has some thoughts about gender and sexuality. Really short, kinda angsty. >^..^


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Sexuality

A Fanfic by EmpressGalaxia

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I was going to write a mother's day fic, but this came out instead. Talk about non sequitir. Oh well. If you don't know Seiya and SailorStars, I doubt you'll get it, but try anyway.

You know, I may be weird and have strange idears every now and then, but I don't think I could have ever thought up Sailor Moon. Think about it. Some of this stuff is truly screwed up. Yeah, so no owning.

The shower is nice and warm, comforting after you've beaten one of Galaxia's minions. But Yaten's incessant beating on the bathroom door reminds me that, no, I can't stay in here all damn day. "All right, all right, I'm getting out!"

The rest of the bathroom is frigid in comparison, so I dry off and throw a towel around my waist. "Needed to take a cold shower after your date?" Yaten sing-songs. The steam inside will tell him otherwise, so I don't reply. 

Date. It wasn't a date, was it? Usagi's heart wasn't really into it; she has that boyfriend overseas. And anyway, I'm...well, I'm not sure about me yet. Standing in front of the full-length mirror in my room (the ultimate vanity purchase), I look at myself. There's Seiya: wide shoulders, pectoral muscles, thick jaw. I drop my towel. Oh yeah, that thing. That's Seiya, too. 

What are these feelings for her? I'm on a search for my princess, our princess, the one we have to protect. I'm not supposed to think about _other_ women. Let me rephrase that. I'm not supposed to think about other _women._ This is a disguise. It's all a disguise. I'm Sailor Star Fighter, and that's that. Seiya Kou, the international male idol of the Three Lights is nothing but a fraud. 

I reach for my henshin microphone. I don't know what I'm trying to prove to myself, but I really wish there were someone here to give me answers. I wish our princess were here. But, of course, if she were here, I wouldn't have this problem right now.

Changing into Sailor Star Fighter, I look at my reflection again. More curved jaw line. Smaller frame, same height. More curvaceous. I check and find that that...thing...is missing. 

_This is me, Odango Atama. Still want to go out on a date?_

Sailor Star Fighter is me, she is what I know, she is what I have grown up knowing. Protect your princess, hurt any men that leer at you, unless they're cute. The fine line between sexual harassment and flirting lies in a nice face. 

I am Sailor Star Fighter. I am Seiya Kou.

Is Seiya Kou Sailor Star Fighter? 

I still care for her like this. But I've never cared for any other women until I came to Earth in this disguise. I had to pretend to be a man, I had to. Gender roles are a horrible thing when trying to rise to the top. 

I change back to Seiya and fall onto my bed. Who am I? What am I? Is this just a curse of that bizarre attachment? If I dress like a man, think like a man, and am built like a man, that makes me a...confused alien superhero. If I really am Fighter, no matter what I look like, then my attraction to Usagi makes me like...like that man-woman Kaioh Michiru dates. Though I'd like to think I'm more feminine than her. A woman who likes women. 

I am an anomaly. I am abnormal. _Guess what, Odango? I'm really a woman!_ _Well, maybe not really, see, I have the penis and testicles and all the things that make a man a man on the outside, but in reality, I'm a woman on the inside! Wanna go see a movie?_ I'm sure she'd react quite well, then tell her friends, then the fan club, and then they'd find out about Taiki and Yaten, too. Well, if they didn't kill me first.

Taiki barges in. "Do you hear him?" He stares at me in silence. I listen hard for a moment and pick up the sound of Yaten in the bathroom, cursing my name for taking all of the hot water. "And you should put some clothes on, that thing isn't a trophy, you know."

I smile. "You're just jealous cause mine's bigger. It _is _a trophy for me."

He peeks down his pants. "We've been over this a thousand times: the size doesn't matter, because they all seem pretty functional." 

"That sounds like crazy talk from someone who has a smaller disguise," I reply.

"Get serious, would you? We have somewhere to go early tomorrow, so you should get to bed. Especially after your _busy_ day." He leaves just as quickly as he came in. 

Funny that I refer to my friends as "he"s so easily, just based on appearances, and I'm warring over my gender based on how I feel. Sighing, I pull on some pyjamas. Maybe this isn't a curse; maybe I've been blessed. I get to be both, right? 

Slipping into bed and pulling a pillow around my ears to block out Yaten's shower rant, I think about the day's events. Spending the day with Odango was nice.

_Today, I'm a man, _I think as I fall asleep. _Tomorrow, that's the mystery._


End file.
